Once upon a time, I went to the store to get some ice cream. Simple enough. I didn't want to eat it right away so I put it in the freezer, put on a record, smoked, shared some brilliant thoughts regarding time travel with my cat, etc.
About 45 minutes later I declared it to be 'Ice Cream Time!' I grabbed a spoon and went to the freezer to pluck my pint of Ben and Jerry's goodness from its resting place--but it was not to be found!!! Fuck. I spaced and misplaced my ice cream somewhere other than the freezer for almost an hour. I started to panic.
Luckily it wasn't too long before I looked into the refrigerator and found my lost treat. I tentatively investigated the ice cream and found it was holding a very soft yet solid shape. I dove in.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
You know how sometimes you can barely get your spoon into the ice cream to scoop because it's really frozen and that's really frustrating and sometimes you accidently end up flipping a spoonful of ice cream across the room? Not only is this a remedy for that, but it becomes this creamy, soft serve-y kind of texture that makes you you close your eyes and make happy food noises when you put it in your mouth. Also, scientifically speaking, sweet things taste sweeter at higher temperatures, so the ice cream actually gains flavor by doing this. Next time you grab a pint of ice cream try this and I promise it will change your life forever.
The Most Perfect Ice Cream
Ingredients
1 pint of your favorite creamy, frozen treat
Directions
Place pint in refrigerator for 30-45 minutes.
Get stoned.
Remove pint from refrigerator and serve.
Have one the greatest feelings of satisfaction you can possibly have in life.
Place remains of pint back in freezer unless you want ice cream soup.
Brilliant.
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