French Toast Bagels with Cream Cheese, Maple Syrup and Jelly Filled Holes

I was up late last night reading Eat Me: The Food and Philosophy of Kenny Shopsin,  particularly the Griddling chapter, and woke up this morning with several inspired breakfast ideas.  This is one of them.  

Ingredients

2 cinnamon raisin or blueberry bagels; or any other type of bagel.  I suggest a sweet one, but if you want to use an everything bagel,  fucking do it! Then tell me how it turns out.

2 Eggs

1/4 cup cream (I used irish creme)

1/4 cup milk (I used hazelnut milk)

1 tsp vanilla extract

1tbsp butter

Cream Cheese

Maple Syrup

Jam (your jam, whatever your jam may be)

Directions

Slice bagels in half with a good bread knife and then carefully use the knife to shave off a thin layer of bagel skin from the butt of the bagel.  It's important to expose some of the bready goodness within the bagel on both sides so that it will soak up the liquid and cook more evenly.   

Preheat griddle or frying pan to a high medium heat.  Whisk together eggs, cream, milk and vanilla in a small bowl.  Soak each bagel piece in the egg mixture before placing on cooking surface and don't forget to wet the surface with some butter before placing down.  Cook each side of the bagel until brown, about 3 minutes on each side.  If you are making a large quantity or only have a small frying pan, I recommend you keep a ceramic plate in the oven set at 200 degrees.  As you finish each 'toast' place on the oven plate to keep them warm until ready to serve.

When all of the bagels have been properly french-toasted, spread a layer of cream cheese on their tops and place a dallop of jam in the center of the bagels.  Pour on the maple syrup and then attack with your fork.

Pistachio Crusted گلاب جامن....with Bacon?!?

"Possibly better then sex..."

Gulab Jamun, if you're unfamiliar, is (via Wikipedia)- 

(Hindi: गुलाब जामुन, Urdu: گلاب جامن), also known as "waffle balls,"  a popular dessert in countries of the Indian Subcontinent such as India, Pakistan, Nepal and Bangladesh. It is made of a dough consisting mainly of milk solids (often including double cream) and flour in a sugar syrup flavored with cardamom seeds and rosewater or saffron.^[1]

^{Waffle Balls!!?  I've never heard that before.  If you've ever been to a buffet at an Indian restaurant, then you've probably seen or had Gulab Jamun.  They're the brown bobbing balls in a tray of syrup at the end of the line for dessert.  They are served warm and almost POP in your mouth with goey, cakey, creamy  innards.  They are super rich and sweet and delicious.}

^{One day I thought 'What if you rolled one of these sweet Indian balls in crushed pistachios and then wrapped it in bacon?'  Now, I have to admit that I am not a bacon eater, but I was trying to blow my friend and fellow stoner chef's mind.  We finally got to making  them last week after purchasing a can of Gulab Jamun at the local Indian market.  You can make them from scratch, but we wanted to keep it easy and put our energy into the main dish we were creating.}  

^{When I first thought of this, I thought it may have been an original idea.  And, according to Google, it is.  However, I was surprised to find that pistachios are a common garnish, and so only the bacon makes it unique.}   

^{We made two varieties of the balls...one with bacon and one without.  The pistachios alone rounded out the flavor and texture of the Gulab Jamun, and totally set them off.  The bacon just added more richness and a contrastingly savory flavor.}

^Ingredients

1 can Gulab Jamun (contains ~20 balls)

1/2 cup of pistachios, chopped

10-20 strips Bacon

toothpicks

Directions 

Fry your bacon and set aside.  Warm Gulab Jamun and syrup in a saucepan over medium heat for ~ 10 minutes, or until they are slightly too hot to eat. Spoon the Gulab Jamun out with a slotted spoon and let some of the syrup drain.  Roll balls in chopped pistachios and set on serving dish.  Wrap bacon strips around Gulab Jamun and pierce all the way through with a toothpick, then set upright so the toothpick is sitting straight up and down.
We offered this as a sweet finger food- an hors d'oeuvres type dish to some friends and lovers before an onslaught of additional stoner food was presented.  It was a huge hit.  They taste good at room temperature but are best served warm.

What Happens When You Throw Chocolate Covered Cherries in a Fondue Pot and Dip Soft Pretzels and Marshmallows in it??

Holy Shit.  There are no words.

Ingredients

1 box of chocolate covered cherries (~12-16 cherries)

1/4 cup cream (you could use a non-dairy cream or an cream liqueur)

1  3-4 oz. bar or milk or dark chocolate, whichever you prefer

Marshmallows

Soft Pretzels (we used the frozen variety that you can just pop in the oven/microwave)

Directions

Melt chocolate bar, chocolate covered cherries and cream in a fondue pot or saucepan set to medium.  Stir and smash chocolate covered cherries with a wooden spoon.  Try to smash as many of the cherries as you can to impart more of their flavor into the medley.

Once the concoction has completely melted, gather round and start dipping!  We kept it simple with just the pretzels and marshmallows, one salty and one sweet.  You can dip anything you want!  The whole spirit of this recipe was to EXPERIMENT and luckily it turned out smashing.  The fondue sauce was fairly quick and easy to make. Great for any assembly of hungry folks, stoned or sober.

It should also be noted that this fondue sauce was just as foxy as a cold chocolate dip or topping.  I think, perhaps, that I may have created something new...Cold Fondue!!  Much more convenient for the solo munchies, you can dip cookies, fruit or marshmallows in it or pour it on top of a bowl of ice cream.  It has a thicker consistency, but is just as tasty.

WARNING: VERY EASY TO OVERDO!!!

Frozen Kiwis, Eaten with a Spoon

Happiness...is a cold kiwi.

Simple.

The best stoner food is the easiest and most delicious.

Kiwis are good.  Frozen kiwis are better.  Everybody has a freezer and a spoon.  Go buy a kiwi and put it in the freezer.  It will keep for months.

When the mood strikes...

Ingredients
1 kiwi

Directions
Place kiwi in freezer.  Before enjoying, take out of freezer and let sit at room temperature for ~10-15 minutes.  Slice in half with a knife.  Scoop out the frozen fruit flesh and let melt in mouth.

String Cheese Pepper Jack Veggie Pizza

Desperate times call for innovative measures...  

Two weeks ago, there was a local BrewFest that was much anticipated until we realized that the entrance fee was $25 and didn't come with any free brews.  When the day came, a few friends and I decided to avoid the crowds and drop the same amount of money on a whole bunch of microbrews in a Make Your Own Sixer and have our own beer-tasting Brewfest.  We all filled our sixers with three beers we'd tried and wanted to share and 3 mystery picks.  (If you're a beer drinker, I highly recommend you try this at home).

Since this was the last minute decision of a bunch of broke people, we had not planned on food.  Luckily I had the pieces to throw together some thin crust pizza.  

Ingredients/Directions

I used a large Lahvosh Cracker for the thin crust and I spread some tomato paste and sprinkled a tsp of dried oregano on the cracker.  I had some mozzarella string cheese, so we peeled 3-4 and positioned them in between round slices of pepper-jack cheese.  I then topped it with some peppers, halved sungold tomatoes, roasted eggplant and olives.  I cooked it in the oven @ 350F for 10 minutes and then topped with some chopped fresh basil and some take-out packets of crushed red pepper and parmesan. 

It turned out to be a nice little pie. The two cheeses oozed together and sheathed the whole pizza and   the thin crust left plenty of room for beer and some late night seconds.  

Of course, you can put whatever you want on your pizza and use whatever type of crust, sauce and cheese.  This mix was good for us, but it was all we had in the house -luckily summer has provided us with a fridge full of veggies from the garden.  

Tortelloni Frittata

Leftovers on Huevos Experiment III

I love pasta salad.  One of my favorite pasta salads came from a local pizzaria that recently shut down leaving an empty, gapping whole in my heart.  So when we recently purchased some fresh pesto tortelloni, I was quick to turn it into the best pasta salad I could using only the ingredients I had on hand. What ended up in the pasta salad was....

Tortelloni

Diced Red Peppers

Chopped Banana Pepper

Olive Tapenade (making sure to add a lot of the oil)

Shredded Parmesan Cheese

Diced onions

Halved Sungold Tomatoes (the best little 'maters you'll ever put in your mouth)

Garlic Pepper and Salt to taste

Sorry I don't have a recipe, but I wasn't measuring or intending to post it.  However, pasta salad is hard to screw up   Just chop, eyeball, add, mix, taste and repeat until it's to your liking.  If you over do one thing or another, just physically weed it out.  If you really screw it up, then just rinse the pasta off and start anew (and maybe sober up a bit).

Flash forward to Sunday morning, a day that is sacred because it is the only day that I can sleep in and (most of the time) am obligated to do nothing.  A day where I can enjoy a cold coffee with maple syrup on the front porch and build up an appetite as I mentally plan a day that will bring me enjoyment.  The first thing to accomplish is to concoct a heady breakfast.  Eggs are usually involved -- you may have noticed from previous posts.  

Now, a frittata is quite a simple and grande thing baked up into one little pot.  Having already chopped several vegetables for the pasta salad, the most work I had to do for this dish was whisk together the egg mixture and cut the tortelloni's in half (they were huge!)   I used a small cast iron skillet and it made 2 servings.  I recommend expanding the recipe to feed a large mass...just use a bigger skillet.  

Ingredients

1/2 - 3/4 cup leftover pasta salad (any will do, but the stuffed pasta put it over the top)

2 eggs

1/4 cup milk

1 tbsp butter

Directions

Heat butter in a small oven proof pan on medium-high heat.  Mix together eggs and milk in a bowl.  After butter has fully melted, pour egg mixture into pan.  Evenly spoon pasta salad into the egg mixture.  

Let cook until the edges of the frittata are cooked.

Preheat oven to broil (light broil if it's an option). Place pan in oven ~5 minutes to finish cooking the top of the frittata. Watch closely!  Seriously, don't stray far.  Keep the oven light on and park a chair in front if you have to.  

When eggs look fully cooked and there is no runny liquid when you tilt the pan, it's done!

Slice into quadrants and slide out with a spatula onto your plate.  

This ended up being a completely excellent creation. 

Would go well with some toast or biscuits on the side.  Yes, indeed.

Squash Casserole w/ Goat Cheese and Lobster Ravioli Crust

This summer we've been squash casserolin' it about once a week due to the obscene amount of squash and other veggies coming from our friend's farm.  I usually top with bread crumbs, and serve with a side of potatoes, mashed or roasted.  Since we were sans potatoes this week, and extra hungry, we decided to use the near expired (and cheap as hell) lobster ravioli from Trader Joe's we'd been saving.  The resulting casserole was a thing of beauty...

Ingredients
4-5 Squash, sliced and quartered
2-3 medium red peppers
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1 cup frozen spinach or 1 bag (~8 oz) fresh spinach
1/2  cup whole wheat flour
1 egg
1/2 cup milk
6 oz goat cheese
1 package Trader Joe's Lobster Ravioli
Salt and Pepper
Shredded Parmesan to garnish
1 tbsp olive oil

Directions
Fill a pot with water and add Lobster Ravioli.  Place ravioli on stove and bring to a boil.  Once water starts boiling, take pot off the heat and drain in a colander.  In another pot, sauté onions in olive oil for 5 minutes then then add garlic, peppers and squash.  Cook until squash are soften but still firm (about 15 minutes).

While vegetables are cooking, mix milk, egg and flour in the bottom of a casserole dish.  Add spinach, goat cheese and sauteed veggies into the casserole dish.  Mix thoroughly.

        

Strategically and artistically place raviolis on top of the mixed ingredients and sprinkle with some parmesan.  Cover with aluminum foil and place in oven for 30 minutes.  After 30 minutes, remove foil and let cook for another 20-30 minutes, until top begins to brown.  If top has not browned by that time, broil for 1-3 minutes...but watch carefully, it can turn from brown to burn very quickly on broil!

Yum.

adj. Slang, -mi·er, -mi·est.

1. Very pleasing to the taste or smell; delicious. See synonyms at delicious.
2. Delightful; delicious.

[From yum, the sound of smacking the lips.]

yumminess yum'mi·ness n.

Alcoholic Puddin'

Is more then just a sweet southern nickname.

This is so easy!  I recently picked up a 99¢ box of instant chocolate pudding from Trader Joe's because  I thought it would be a cheap, easily stored, quick-fix for the sugar munchies sometime in my future.  When the time came, I was also eyeballing the bottle of irish cream in the fridge as an even quicker fix.  Then, like an eclipse - or a Venn diagram of thought- the 2 were combined...


Ingredients

1 box chocolate instant pudding
1 1/2 cups milk (I used Vanilla Almond Milk)
1/2 cup Irish Cream

Directions

Follow directions on box.  This particular box called for 2 cups milk to be mixed in with the pudding powder.  I decided to replace 1/4 of this with the Irish Cream, but you should experiment with replacing 1/2 or all of the milk and let me know the results!

The whole prep time took about 10-15 minutes - longer if you wish to chill, which I recommend.  The shallower the container you store it in, the quicker it will cool.

Replacing 1/4 of the milk with Irish Cream imparted a noticeable alcohol "bite" to the pudding and the Irish Cream flavor mixed beautifully with the chocolate.  

And it would be simply mad if you decided to pour it on some Ben & Jerry's Crème Brûlée ice cream...

Fried Basil Egg with Mac & Cheese

This is a similar idea to the Exploded Macaroni Omelet dish that I made several months ago.  It is a simple, straight forward cheese, egg and pasta seasoned with some fresh torn basil, garlic, salt and cracked pepper.  It made for a tasty wake and bake munchie-hangover cure.  

Ingredients
(serves 2)

1 box Annie's Macaroni and Cheese
2 1/2 tbsp butter
2 eggs
a small handful of chopped or torn fresh basil leaves
salt and garlic-pepper


Directions

Cover pasta in a a pot or saucepan with water (about 6 cups).  Bring to a boil and cook at Medium heat. 

Cook for another 5 minutes or until done. 

Drain pasta.  

Heat 2 tbsp of butter in the pasta pot on low heat. 

Place 1/2 tbsp of butter in a small skillet or frying pan set to Medium-High heat. Crack an egg in the frying pan when the butter melts.  I like to bust open the yolk with a spatula. 

Tear or cut up the basil leaves and sprinkle on top of the eggs.

Add 1/4 cup milk and powdered cheese to pasta pot. 

Mix cheese, butter and milk together until smooth and creamy. 

Add pasta back in and mix well. 

After about 2 minutes, pile as much pasta as you want in a a bowl.

Salt eggs in the frying pan.  Flip eggs for 30 seconds and then  remove and place yolk side up on top of the Mac n' Cheese. 

Crack some Garlic-Pepper to taste. 

If you don't have garlic pepper, you can add ~ 1 tbsp minced garlic to the butter to fry the eggs.

You can also garnish with a little shredded cheese if you have some on hand.  

EAT WITH A KNIFE AND SPOON!

Toaster Pastry S'mores

I just want to say.... this is one of the most beautiful and delicious creations I have ever made.  

The sweet berry filling mixed with the the quality dark chocolate makes this unlike any S'mores that has come before it.  

You must try this before you die. 

Ingredients

2 toaster pastries/pop-tarts (I recommend strawberry or cherry-pomegranate flavors from Nature's Path)

3 large marshmallows

1 bar dark chocolate (I used Newman's Own Dark chocolate-it was exactly the same size as the toaster pastries!!!)

Directions 

Place both Toaster Pastries, icing side down, on a plate.  Place 3 marshmallows on one pastry.  Place both pastries in the toaster oven.  Toast until marshmallow tops are brown. 

Remove from oven.  Place chocolate bar on the toaster pastry without the marshmallows.  

Sandwich together and let it blow your mind like a sticky, melty, sweet chocolate-marshmallow shotgun.

Baked Life - The Marijuana Website

If you haven't checked out the Baked Life blog @ www.bakedlife.com, go check it out!  They post very intelligent articles on politics, health and society regarding marijuana as well as killer product reviews, a frequently updated strain encyclopedia and fun and entertaining posts too!

While you're there, make sure to also check out their Cannabis Kitchen section. It has great tips and recipes for stoner food and food that will make you stoned PLUS  a recent write up about yours truly!   

Naan Pizza Eggs

I recently spotted  the Tandoor Chef Naan Pizzas in the grocery store and thought, 'They beat me too it!'  I've been wanting to make my own version of a Naan pizza after spotting a recipe online, but decided  to give Tandoor Chef's Spinach and Paneer Cheese Naan Pizza a try first.  The frozen box hung out in my freezer for a little while until one afternoon I had a strong desire/craving to try out my next Pizza Eggs concoction: a fried egg atop a pizza.  All I had in the house was the Naan pizza, so it was going to have to do.

The Naan Pizza was ok.  Since they were using an Indian cheese on top of the pizza, I was expecting some more Indian flavors , but the pie itself was very lackluster and the naan or "crust" was flavorless, and a bit chewy.  It wasn't bad, put it's just not what I was hoping for and it wasn't much different from a run of the mill frozen pizza.  Next time I make a Naan Pizza, I will definitely use unfrozen garlic naan and some fresher ingredients.  (Garlic goes with pizza...why didn't they use garlic naan??)

Despite my complaints , the experience of eating an egg atop a pizza was delightful.  It mixed well with the cheese, spinach and tomato sauce, and it made for a very filling Sunday brunch.

Ingredients
1 Naan Pizza (Tandoor brand or make your own!)
1 egg
1/2 tbsp cooking oil

Directions
If you are using a frozen pizza, follow the directions on the box and begin baking the pizza in the oven.  Once the pizza is in the oven, heat cooking oil in a frying pan over med-high heat.  Crack and fry egg in the frying pan (break the yolk!) for 1-2 minutes, or until the egg can be picked up with a spatula without being too runny.   Try to time it so that you are finished with the half cooked egg approximately halfway through the pizza baking process.  At this time, open up the oven and place the partially fried egg on top of your pizza.  The egg will fully bake while the pizza completes baking.

If you are using fresh pizza dough or naan, then you can actually just crack the egg on top of your pizza before baking.  Just make sure you have a high crust, or toppings surrounding the edge of the pizza sufficiently so that the egg doesn't run off the side while baking.

A third option would be to bake the pizza and then ad the completely fried egg on top at the end of the cooking process.

When finished from whatever method you prefer, remove the pizza from the oven and devour.

Chocolate Banana Pudding Cupcakes with Nutella Cream Cheese Frosting

Oh, yes.  I love it when the recipes that get hypothesized in my THC haze turn out to be just as tasty and  delicious as I ever hoped they would be on the first trial run.  This idea came about from a classic case of "what do I have in my cupboards and refridgerator?"  I have a habit of collecting dry goods that I find on the on the cheap, so I had a couple of packets of banana pudding and some chocolate cake mix hanging out for a while...waiting for a birthday or some attack of the stoner sweet tooth.  

Ingredients

1 box Chocolate Cake mix

   +  ~2 eggs and some milk (whatever the box says)

8 oz whipped cream cheese

4 oz. Nutella or Nutella knock-off (Fantastico!!)

3-4 oz banana pudding

A pastry bag, icing syringe or some other type of goo-injecting device

Directions

Follow the directions on the cake  mix box for cupcakes.  When the cupcakes are done baking, let them cool for at least 30-40 minutes so they are room temperature.  Mix Nutella and whipped cream cheese together in a bowl and set aside.  Pull a syringe full of banana pudding and inject ~1/2 oz into the top of the cupcakes.  (This is so you can cover the hole with the frosting).

Then spread the Nutella-Cream Cheese frosting on top and enjoy your moist little surprise puddin' cakes!!!

                          

Stonerific Dessert Plates

If you dare to venture out in public...

Having a food blog turns you into one of those people that takes a picture of everything you eat before putting it into your mouth.  I'd like to to think that I spare you of my every intestinal traveller, but I will say that my camera is way overloaded with food photo shoots.  Some of them from restaurant foods that I was fortunate enough to be served.  I noticed that I had several shots from abundantly ridiculous dessert foods, so I decided to share them with you.  I hope they inspire you and make your salivary glands sweat!

Sekisui: Choko Maki Dessert Sushi

(pictured above)

This was the perfect combination of varying colorful and sweet foods presented in a creative display.  And you can eat it with chopsticks!  The "rice" element is made from a flattened and rolled Rice Krispy treat.  The middle consists of fresh banana, coffee chocolate mouse and cookie.  Strawberries, drizzled chocolate and shaved white chocolate decorate the top of the roll.  It was fun to share for my friend Emily's 29th birthday.  

The Melting Pot: Cookies and Marshmallow Dream Fondue

Mmmmm.  I've been meaning to acquire a fondue pot for a while.  

FONDUE POT = EASY, MELTY, CHEESY AND CHOCOLATY DELICIOUS STONER FOOD.  

This is from another outing with my friend Emily.  We opted for just cheese and chocolate for dinner with a bottle of wine.  The place is kind of pricey, so forgoing an entree was our way of keeping it cheap. 

Our fondue pot was filled with dark chocolate, marshmallows and chocolate and creme cookies (think Oreo like).  Our plate was full of wondrous things to poke and dip: bananas, cherry cheesecake, brownies, dusted marshmallows, rice krispy treats and strawberries.  (Hmmmm...kinda similar ingredients to the sushi).   Yum Yum  Fun.  

Pricci: Dessert Sampler

Oh, how I love thy gourmet dessert plates.  This particular gem was found at Pricci, a fairly upscale Buckhead restaurant where I celebrated my mother's last birthday with a group of old friends.  This one is DEFINITELY for sharing, and worth it for the communal dessert-gasm noises.  Featured on this plate were: 

Tiramisu (classic)

Zuccotto (Chocolate Cake with toffee & rasberry-hazelnut mousse) 

Cherry Almond Tart (it was warm!)

Prosecco Peach Jello 

Toffee Almond Clusters

-and chocolate n' caramel were squirted ever-so fancifully over the whole plate-

That's all for now.  If you have any stoner-approved food porn pics from a dish that you've been served, feel free to send them my way so I can post them!  

Loaded Veggy-Sausage & Black Bean Nachos

Is there a more excellent stoner food then Nachos?!?!  I think not.  They're crunchy, salty, cheesy, full of flavor and topped with sour cream.  AND you get to eat them with your hands!  Plus, they're quick and easy to make.  My only problem with nachos is that they tend to get soggy and difficult to eat after a few minutes, but I think I've got that bit figured out by heating up the soggier toppings separately and adding them at the end.   

Ingredients
4-5 handfuls of tortilla chips
4 oz Pepper Jack cheese, sliced
1 tbsp garlic, chopped or minced
1/4 cup onion, chopped
1/2 cup black beans
1/4 cups ground sausage (fake or real, the fake kind is pictured above)
~10 cherry tomatoes sliced in half or 1/2 regular tomato diced
1 banana pepper sliced (the jarred kind is fine)
1 tsp chili powder or taco seasoning
1 tbsp oil or butter
hot sauce
a dallup of sour cream

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 F.  Saute onions and garlic in oil or butter in a frying pan over med-high heat.  Add ground sausage and cook for 5-10 mins.  Add black beans and chili powder and stir in until entire mixture is hot.  (I happened to have some chipotle hummus in the fridge and I added about 1 tbsp in with beans).  Keep this mixture warm as you prepare the chips.  Place the chips on aluminum foil on a baking sheet.  Place cheese, tomato and banana peppers on top of the chips. Place in oven and watch closely-- 5 to 8 minutes is all it should take to melt the cheese and slightly brown the edge of the chips.  Transfer the chips on aluminum to a plate and add spoonfuls of the bean and sausage mix.  Finish with a dallup of sour cream in the middle and hot sauce to taste.

Grilled Gouda on Raisin Bread

The first time I ever experienced anything like this was in The Netherlands.  I lived and worked there several years ago, and this sandwich (ungrilled) was in the vending machine at work and was also a common sandwich to find at sandwich carts and shops.  It was just gouda on a raisin roll, but I'd never thought to put cheese on sweet bread.  It's delicious!  I've been craving it for the last several days, so I bought some cinnamon raisin bread and some young gouda and decided to grill it up.  It's a simple combo, but tasty and works cold or grilled.  I was trying to think of a condiment to add and I almost put some tomato chutney on it, but the chutney also contained raisins and I didn't want to go overboard with the raisins.  If I had some mango chutney I think that could've made it something worthy of blowing minds.

Ingredients

2-3 slices Gouda

2 slices of cinnamon raisin bread

1/2 tbsp butter

Directions

Make a sandwich with the cheese and bread.  Spread butter on outside slices of bread.  Grill in a frying pan for 5-10 minutes on medium heat until bread is browned and cheese is melty.  

Mmmmmmm.....cheese.